sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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