I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
