I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Are these your boobs on my camera?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
