We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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