Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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