the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
