Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Randomize
