why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
