is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
