That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
