I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
