You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
