That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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