bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
