Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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