Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
