I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize