can u get pink eye on your cock?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
