He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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