then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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