Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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