Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
