Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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