I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He? As in you personified your dick?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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