Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
