You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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