Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
