I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
