So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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