It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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