quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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