Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
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what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
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Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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