hotel room ftw
and you said cock pushups were impossible
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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