The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The feeling are messing with the penis
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
