Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
