thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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