Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
