She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
