Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize