Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
