like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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