I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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