i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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