Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
