how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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