I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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