I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
