Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm at about main and main street
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
