You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
