Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
