I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
