i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize