whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
