Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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