She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Small penises have feelings too.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
