just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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