Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
