i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
