its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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