My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hell yes lets make some ravioli
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
