hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
