Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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