I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
