The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
