She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
