this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
