then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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