My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
