I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
