I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
