Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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