As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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