You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
