Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
